Progress

Well, I will be working 2 days a week starting Saturday at the Carlton Winemaker's Studio. Hopefully I will pick up more hours once I am trained and once the busy season starts. Portland has bloomed in the past week and the air is sweet with fragrance from the plum trees that line the streets and rose bushes that can be found almost everywhere. I've been taking extremely long walks, 3+ hours, and trying to clear my head, take some photos, and enjoy my surroundings. The old money worries come back often, but hopefully I will make a little with my new job and progress in some sort of career quickly.

I just have to keep the aspidstra flying.

Some Prospects

Interviewed with Carlton Winemakers Studio, a collective winery about an hour from my place. They really liked me, but they said I was overqualified. I basically told them to let me decide that. I also have an interview with a Sakery (Sake version of a winery) and on Monday an interview with Torii Mor winery, which is pretty well known. Basically I went around to every good winery in the Willamette Valley and gave them a resume. My goal is to work for a few months at two wineries, then start applying to jobs that carry more weight in the industry (or work my way up at the wineries, if there is the opportunity to do so).

So...still no job as of today, but possibly by this time next week.

No job

Didn't get it. Not sure why.

The interview

Went well. I hope I get this job, I would basically be designing and implementing a tasting room from scratch. I felt as though I got the job, but he had a stack of resumes, so here's hoping that I'm the one. I find out next week.

Monday, 9:30am

Interview at a sustainable, low yield winery in the Willamette Valley. Tasting room and internet sales manager. This is pretty much the job I came out here for, so cross your fingers for me.

The job search

It's not supposed to happen like this. I'm supposed to get interviews. I'm supposed to get callbacks. Not one company or person has responded to my emails. Ok, that's a lie. One winery wrote back saying they hired the person for the position that I applied for. But that's one winery. I must have applied to over 50 jobs at this point. This is getting ridiculous. I'm giving it till April, then if nothing happens, I'm moving back east.

Everyone has a story, pt. 2

At a concert on SE Morrison St., Portland

A 21 year old Marine, discharged for medical reasons. He tells me of things he knows that has led him to hate the war. He tells me about a weapon called 'fire and forget' that costs $100,000 and can only be used once. He tells me that they play with these weapons like they are waterguns. He tells me of a gunship that can cordon off an area and then destroy everything within the perimeter. He tells me of an Afghan village where they used this because an old woman yelled at an American soldier. An. entire. village. destroyed. He tells me that he wants to become a Buddhist and that he is going to walk cross country from Virginia to Washington over the course of 10 months in order to be alone with his thoughts. There is something peaceful about this man.

Today was a hard day

This was a difficult day. I have been feeling increasingly lonely and homesick, for whatever that means. I never really felt at home in Delaware, but I miss my long chats with Tim, my friends at the winery, and playing scrabble with Christina. I've been going out and chatting with people at cafes and pizza joints, but they are fleeting conversations, nothing is sticking. I don't feel a kinship yet with anyone here. I have to give it time, I know, but how much is enough time? A month? A year? When does one admit to a terrible mistake and turn around?

Truffles

Yum.

Last couple days

I've been trying to go out and do some things, but I seem to keep picking the wrong things. Example. Last night I went to dinner/dessert at a creperie. The food was delicious, but I was the only one in there, except for the waitress. I had a nutella and grand marnier crepe, yum. I spoke to the waitress for a while, and she was nice, but she seemed like she just wanted to go home (it was just about closing time). Then last night, I went to see a screening of the Peter Sellers movie Being There, which is one of my favorite movies, at a co-op with a community room. It was nice to watch it, but again, I was one of only like 3 people there, none of which I had any particular interest of striking up a conversation with.

Sooo...its back to the drawing board. The good thing is there is a million things to do here, I just have to find the ones with more people.

A walk in the park

Today I went for a walk in the park around the corner and this is what I saw.

Meriwethering

I've coined a new term. Meriwethering, as in Meriwether Lewis, of Lewis and Clark. I figure since I'm exploring the pacific northwest, I will use that as a synonym. So yesterday I went out Meriwethering on my bike. I lasted about 10 minutes and turned around because it was just a little too cold for that (some explorer I would have made..ha). So I got in my car and drove around downtown for a half hour. There are so many little shops and coffee houses, pubs and art galleries. I am a little tired of doing those kinds of things alone, so I think I need to make a friend to explore with. That's the next order of business.

Soundtrack

So, here is what I listened to on my trip

Bob Dylan, The Times They are a Changin'
Driving out my driveway in DE toward Baltimore

Springsteen, Born to Run
Through DC area

Joanna Newsom, Y's
Swan Lake, Beast Moans
Grizzly Bear, Yellow House
Through Tennessee

Willie Nelson
Hank Williams, Sr.
Oklahoma City to Amarillo, TX

Arvo Part, Fur Alina
Sufjan Stevens, Seven Swans
Driving through the Texas panhandle the morning after the ice storm stranded me

Paul Simon, assorted
Through Arizona

Yo La Tengo, I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One
I listened to this twice, the first time driving into the Mojave desert and the second driving from Sacramento toward the border of Oregon. Both times, I pressed play as the sun dipped below the horizon for the night. This is the perfect album for this time of day.

The Killers, Sam's Town
After night fell driving across the Mojave desert

M. Ward, Transistor Radio
Through southern Oregon

I also listened to Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, and Tortilla Flat by John Steinbeck, which I took out from the library in DE and just mailed back today. Each of those ate up about 7 hours a piece.

Everyone has a story

6am, Denny's, somewhere in northern California. A truck driver, running TN to CA, about 70 years old. He asks me if I'm married, I say no. He tells me about a girl he used to 'go with' in the 60's. She was in the middle of a divorce from a husband who couldn't give her a child. They dated about a year, until one day she mysteriously stopped returning his calls. A few years went by. He became a used car salesman. One day on the lot he saw her and her husband (they obviously reconciled). They had a small child that he said looked just like his son. She spotted him and quickly rushed away with them. He made the decision not to pursue her so as not to ruin the child's life.

I finished my eggs and coffee and was on my way.

In PDX, finally

So I am in a library right now because I don't have internet yet. I arrived yesterday at about noon and began the daunting task of unpacking my trailer. It took me till 8pm, since I was alone and it was raining. The woman into whose house I have moved is on a ski trip till tomorrow night, so it was kind of strange to move into this person's house when she wasn't there. Anyway, her style is very simple, not minimalist, but clean and uncluttered. My rooms are upstairs. I have two, one a little smaller than the other. I am keeping the smaller one for my bedroom since the larger one has south facing light and I would like to use that to my advantage for photography. The first night was lonely, but I was so exhausted that I fell asleep at 8pm and slept till 8am, straight through. I have a bunch of stories from the road, so stay tuned for those. I will post them as soon as I get a connection in the house.

As for Portland, I haven't explored yet. I did venture out to get a Vietnamese tofu and veggie sub ($2.50!!) and some food for breakfast at the local supermarket. It's about 3 blocks from my house, so it will be nice to shop European style again instead of loading up on weeks worth of groceries at a time.

I will be taking lots of pictures so also be stay tuned for that as well.

For now, I have to get back and unpack. I want this woman to come home to a clean house and I want to be as good a tennant as possible.

More to come...

Ice storm

I should tell you about what I've seen maybe instead of how I feel. The ice storm started just outside Oklahoma City. The night before was warm, about 65 degrees and I slept in my car at a rest stop with the windows cracked. I woke up to light rain (I was in Western Arkansas). By the time I got to Oklahoma, it began to sleet. I made it as far as a town called Alanreed Texas, population 52 (this is not a lie, this was on the sign). I had passed about 20-30 overturned semi trucks, with a lot of damage and what looked like possible deaths. One had a bunch of Hoover vacuums strewn over the road. So while filling up my tank in Alanreed, I asked about a hotel room and took it. This place was a dump, but it was warm. I could hear the sleet all night into the wee hours, pounding at the door. I left at 6 am, and as I was driving up the on rampt to the highway, I almost drove into a ditch. Luckily I have all my possessions weighing me down (quite literally) so the extra weight kept me on the road. I shifted into low gear and crept up the ramp to the highway. I drove about 10 miles on solid snow and then pulled off into a rest stop where I slept another hour.

When I woke up I got back on the highway and the roads were worn where people had driven so I followed this for about 300 miles. The scenery was indescribable. It was as if I awoke in the distant future on another planet. Everything was white and covered with snow and icicles. It was 5 degrees with the wind chill and it felt like I was in the middle of an ice age. Black cattle wander fields of white. Willie Nelson and Hank Williams Sr. on the radio. I was a high plains drifter, going slow until New Mexico, when the roads opened up a little. By the time I got over the mountains into Albuquerque, all the ice melted off my mattress, car, and U-Haul, no evidence there had ever been a storm, except for my frayed nerves. Outside now it is 50 degrees and I am in the west.

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My heart is heavy

I am in Albuquerque right now, made it through the worst ice storm I've ever seen. 500 miles of snow and ice. Driving rain, thunder. High plains. I hit the 2000 mile mark just now and am slightly over halfway to my destination. I miss my friends' faces, I miss my old bedroom, I miss being a couple hours from my family. This is going to be harder than I thought.

Orange tree

I got this orange tree when I first moved into Tim's house a couple years ago. I have tended it since then, and it has produced fruit and blossoms about 4 times. When the blossoms sprout, the whole house smells of something wonderful, and my spirits lift. This is my room today, one day before I am leaving and I have been thinking of life and death, and how moving is a little bit like dying. I will probably never sleep in this room again, never take another shower in my bathroom, never make coffee in my kitchen, never see this orange tree again. Then again, I will always have the option of coming back and visiting, something you don't get to do once you die (unless you believe in ghosts, which I suppose I would be a little bit like in this case). Is it any wonder we get sad when we move, the people and places we leave behind. A big part of me wants to stay, to try to make things better here, but then the other part of me that yearns for cafe lined streets, quiet bookstores, old growth forests, and the smell of roses outside tells me 'Don't be stupid, just go!!!' Last night Suzy called me and we spoke for a few minutes. The last thing she said to me was, "Many things in life that turn out great start with some element of fear" or something to that effect. If that's the case, this is going to be incredible.

t minus

4 days till I leave. I have to admit, right now I have a sense of excitement mixed with my usual doom. Most of my life I have let circumstance dictate where I live, whereas for the first time really, I am actively choosing it. Maybe this is what scares me the most, the fact that if things go wrong, it's all on me. I have noone or nothing to blame but myself. On the flip side, I can earn bragging rights and respect if things go well, which I am hoping for, of course. So now I kind of have to just wait for Wednesday morning. My route is as follows:

Wilmington to DC.
DC to Roanoke
Roanoke to Knoxville
Knoxille to Little Rock
Little Rock to Oklahoma City
O.C. to Albuquerque
Albuquerque to Flagstaff
Flagstaff to LA where I will be working for 2 days
LA to San Jose
San Jose to Portland

All told it will be about 4000 miles. Hopefully this LA job will just about pay for the move. I'm really luck to have gotten it. The funny thing is, 2 days after I arrive in Portland I have to fly to Atlanta for another 2 day job. I think I'm going to need a vacation after I actaully get settled. Or maybe just a little wine.

New Year

New city, new job (hopefully), new routines, new women (hopefully again!), new wines, new friends, new photographs, new songs, new me.